Follow us on

But some people see the left lane open up and rush over there

Posted on 25 September 2014 by Vincent

5 Things I Learned as a Cop That cheap canada goose Movies Won’t Show You

As this very site has pointed out, Hollywood gets police work wrong probably more than any other profession. One of the side effects of that is, for instance, that I get to watch multiple drunk/high people demand to be let out of jail because we failed to canada goose outlet toronto factory read them their rights (it doesn’t work like that). It’s kind of funny the first few times. I’d imagine the corrections officers didn’t find it as funny as I did.

canada goose uk outlet Anyway, I used to be a cop, and what I learned on the job is canada goose outlet reviews that it is far more ridiculous than any fictional portrayal. You’re seeing canada goose outlet uk sale people at their most insane/stoned/naked, goose outlet canada all canada goose outlet new york city the time. So let me tell you. canada goose uk outlet

canada goose clearance There’s an apartment complex in every city that cops just don’t go into without lots of backup. I always imagined it was because official canada goose outlet those places were littered with armed gangsters, but that’s just a part of it. What really keeps police out of a neighborhood is all the canada goose outlet people who absolutely do not give one lonely, mountain dwelling fuck about the canada goose outlet shop law. Here’s an example: canada goose clearance

buy canada goose jacket cheap I was cruising about one night and saw this drunken guy riding a horse through the streets, rolling through every lane, clopping into oncoming traffic. I turned on my lights canada goose outlet nyc and canada goose outlet online tried to pull him over. He decided to run away on horseback. I went after him, with my partner patiently explaining that I’m a moron. buy canada goose jacket cheap

Canada Goose Coats On Sale Punching little old people is a felony, or at least it should be, so my partner and I chased the assailant through the complex. He vanished somewhere into the labyrinth and was lost to us, so I made my way back to the car, hoping maybe the lady knew who he was. But she had vanished, too. And so canada goose outlet sale had the drunken rider. The horse, however, had been left behind. Canada Goose Coats On Sale

cheap Canada Goose No one deals with horses. Animal control didn’t have the right facilities to house one, our station sure as hell didn’t, and not even my sergeant knew what the hell to do with it. I called a towing company and said I wanted a flatbed to move an canada goose outlet store abandoned horse, and was dismissed as a crank until I pointed out I was using the police only number and that I did have a goddamn horse that needed to be. impounded. Or something. cheap Canada Goose

Canada Goose Outlet This freaked me out. Images of this dude being carved up by some serial killer filled my head (hey, I’ve seen the same horror movies you have). So I told my backup to hurry (I try to learn from said movies) and just ran in with my little canada goose outlet uk pistol (but not enough, apparently). I yelled the guy’s name and identified myself as police. I found the bedroom door locked, and with no response from inside. I kicked the bedroom door down. Canada Goose Outlet

Canada Goose online I told him https://www.canadagoosepark.com to put some pants canada goose outlet jackets on and I moved to check the walk in closet, and then the bathroom, just to be sure. I didn’t tell his wife what I’d found him doing. The guy took his sweet time putting his pants on, then thanked me and offered a friendly handshake, which I declined.”At least have some coffee. Do you like extra cream?” Canada Goose online

cheap canada goose uk On another occasion, a guy showed up naked at the front door of canada goose black friday sale a female acquaintance and shouted “I’m gonna fuck you in the ass!” He pinned her down on her bed, at which point she began kicking his balls. When canada goose outlet black friday he let go of her arms to try to pin her legs, she reached down and started punching his balls. Eventually she got all four limbs canada goose outlet parka into the act, just wailing on his nuts until the signal reached his brain that it would be better to leave. cheap canada goose uk

uk canada goose outlet I have kicked down way more doors than I ever thought I would, and I can tell you that the movies get that whole action completely wrong. uk canada goose outlet

canada goose store At no canada goose outlet in usa point should you ever stand directly in front of the door. There’s a reason the area in front of any doorway is called things like “the fatal funnel” and “Don’t fucking stand there.” Doors aren’t bulletproof, and if some bad guy behind the door hears you kicking at it, he’s canada goose outlet canada going to shoot your ass. The goal is to give it a good donkey kick, standing off to one side with your back to the wall, so only your leg is in front of the door. Then kick backward, right under the knob. canada goose store

buy canada goose jacket And as always, it often plays out far more stupidly than it does in the movies. All of them. buy canada goose jacket

Another guy fortified his door, which of course wasn’t apparent from the outside. We were there because the guy was high and his girlfriend called saying he was suicidal (we’re compelled to stop people from killing themselves, no matter how shitty they’re acting).

canadian goose jacket I kicked the door. Nothing. We tried a sledgehammer as an impromptu ram. Nothing. We called the fire department and borrowed their pry bars. Nothing. They broke out the Jaws of Life (and it’s nice to see a firefighter’s face light up like that) and we tried to peel the door from the frame. So canada goose outlet store uk we peeled the entire wall of his apartment away to get inside, only to see that all three hinges had been welded shut, the door locks had been welded shut, and he’d also welded a metal pole to a brick of steel behind the door and mounted that pole into the floor. canadian goose jacket

canada goose uk shop Steven Puetzer/The Image Bank/Getty Images canada goose uk shop

Canada Goose Jackets ” and just to be safe.” Canada Goose Jackets

canada goose And while you’ll often hear complaints of police speeding just for the hell of it, in my home state (Texas), protocol sets our maximum speed at 80 miles per hour, regardless of emergency light use. We have instances where we turn on our lights to try to get to an emergency call and have people pass us on the highway due to the fact that everyday commuters routinely exceed the maximum canada goose factory outlet set speed limit for police. canada goose

canada goose coats Now, in theory, a police car with its red and blue flashing lights on should be able to clear the path everybody knows to pull off the road, or at least clear a lane, when they see the lights canada goose outlet online uk and hear sirens. But some people see the left lane open up and rush over there, completely oblivious to the cop car racing toward them (yes, a lot of wrecks happen this way). Pedestrians don’t pay attention either. It seems like the general attitude is “Oh, lights! What’s the stupidest thing I can do right now to ruin everyone’s day?” canada goose coats.

Leave a Reply

Only comments in English are accepted. Your email address will not be published.

Want a cool avatar next to your comment? We use Gravatar like all hipster websites. Sign up at Gravatar.com for a free account.

Back to top